Considering Friendship

There is an email that has been circulating around cyberspace for several years that starts out:

"People come into your life for a reason, or a season, or a lifetime." The full length of the reflection is too long to include here, and can be found easily with a google search of the exact words in quotations.

However, the part of the reflection "for a season" is short enough to include here:

When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .
Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount
of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

During Isabel's residence at Wascana, there have been many people that have come through her door for a season or a reason and have moved on -- other residents who have moved or died ~ and their family members, students who work with Isabel each day during a 6-week internship and then return to school, nurses or therapists who care generously and lovingly for nearly three years and then move to another job.

This past week was a time to unexpectedly experience friendship for 30 hours. Isabel met out-of-province family members of a new 100 year old resident of Unit 2-6. She and old friends (who were tea-partying together) were invited to come to the 100th birthday party. Then Mum got to know these family members from Ontario and British Columbia as they chatted together in the hostel. Bright and early, the next morning, three of the family members showed up at Isabel's door to get to know her more and to learn from her about her experiences of 2-6, and thus how they could be supportive to their 100 year old Aunt. And then they returned again and again that day to use Mum's internet connection, to show off their "Cowtown" purchases, to borrow Mum's CDs for their aunt, to share laughter and stories and blessings of many sorts. And finally, they came very late at night to leave a parting gift with THANKS for her hospitality. Outside Mum's window, imprinted in deep snow by scuffling feet is a very large heart, a horse, and an angel. The horse is in the photo above.

On Friday, Isabel and her faithful Rufus lll headed over to The Bentley on Hillsdale Avenue to visit friends of nearly 60 years. Thank goodness for friend Russ and his faithful van to plough through Regina's second big snowfall of the season.

For a reason, a season, a lifetime or for a mere 30 hours before out-of-province visitors headed home again......friendship to be treasured.

"No rest for the wicked"

Isabel said this week "There is no rest for the wicked" as she began in earnest to meet some new therapy and nursing goals to once again add to her quality of life. Following a recent annual meeting of her enthusiastic care-givers and therapists, Mum and her staff have a renewed plan of action before the holiday season. Once again, we are grateful for pro-active staff.

One of the new therapies of this fall is speech therapy. Each week Mum meets with a Speech and Language Pathologist (the official name for speech therapists) to work on improving her speech and swallowing. Mum has been talking for nearly two years, however, she still has muscle weakness in her mouth and throat that prevents easy talking and swallowing. Her immediate goals are to learn to say "T", "D", "S" and "J". There are specific exercises and intentional movements of the body and head and face to facilitate proper pronunciation of these letters. This week her focus is on "T" and "D".
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Who would have known? For most of us, those sounds slip out with ease. In fact, speech is very complicated, and Mum is learning that these days.

Yesterday, Isabel counted up the times she goes up and down the Wascana halls to physio- and occupational therapy each week. Fourteen times to-ing and fro-ing. The thought can be overwhelming until we remember that Mum is someone who skiied, skated, walked, ran, rode horseback, and gardened.

We hope to have new accomplishments to report by Christmas. In the meantime, thank you for your letters, calls, and visits that brighten each day.

Thanks-giving

This past week marked the Thanks-giving holiday in Canada. Gratitude for harvest (much still in the field!); sharing a bountiful meal with family and friends; giving public and private Thanks in a variety of ways.

On Thanksgiving Sunday, I was in the Scottish Highlands down a long glen (mountain valley) at the end of a sea-loch (lake) having tea with an acquaintance of Isabel's. At 91, Margaret is the retired housekeeper and cook for the mother of our Blakeney cousins. (Cousin Joy Blakeney has visited Canada several times in the last few years and was significant in helping Isabel ease into her move to Wascana).

In a small cottage in front of a cozy fire with a table laden with tea and five kinds of "sweets", Margaret showed us her collection of Isabel's letters from the last three years. We talked of ability and disability and Margaret's life-long hearing impairment. For most decades of her life, she could not use a telephone. With thanks to the newest technology in adapted phones, she can now call from her small isolated mountain village to all her friends and family. We spoke of Isabel's adapted computer and word processor and what that has meant for communication in Isabel's life.

Mum receives her nutrition by food-peg (her throat muscles aren't yet working properly) so there was no turkey or pumpkin pie on her Thanksgiving menu. "And no dishes to do!", says Isabel. But there was a "full meal" which she receives four times a day that provides her with excellent nutrition and energy. And there are friends and family galore that write, and visit and phone and care from all around the world. For this, there is much Thanksgiving.

During the shortening autumn days of the last few weeks, Mum has said a last good-bye to several friends and neighbours. In the midst of sadness and loss, there is much Thanksgiving for years of friendship, neighbourly support, and community service.

With gratitude again and again.

October Greetings

October Greetings to All

September has sped by with wild wet weather and farmers anxious to get on the fields. Mum has been working hard in various therapies along with "supervising" the repair work on the terrace that held her beautiful garden this summer. The heavy rains of this year have resulted in newly found leaks in the brick Wascana building and the gardens and terraces have been dug up (way too soon for the liking of the residents!). Mum writes of the leaves changing on the trees outside her window that are now being caught by the sunny warm breezes of the last few days. With bare trees, more light shines into her west facing room.

Many of you have written or visited in the last month. Thank you. There is a quote that hung on Mum's wall in Abernethy for many years that seems fitting for this transition time of year:

"The cream of enjoyment in this life is always impromptu:
the chance walk;
the unexpected visit;
the unpremeditated journey;
the unsought conversation or acquaintance."

Each of these have been present in Isabel's life this summer and fall. Thank you for your care and love.

Late Summer Update

Several blog readers have written lately wondering what Isabel has been up to. Time for an update!

It's been another good summer.

The terrace garden has flourished with rain and the daily care of Mum's friends Beth & Carl. Beth is Mum's neighbour directly across the hall. Beth is a longtime gardener and now faithfully supervises Carl's weeding and watering. The terrace is a wonderful place for Isabel and other residents to sit and visit with families and friends, and survey the area around Wascana Rehab Centre from a second floor vantage point.

The Children's Playground at Wascana has been redesigned. New playground equipment has been added. It's a great place to watch the younger grandkids while visiting and catching the sun.

"Old regulars" and "surprise" visitors have graced the halls of Wascana. Thank you All.

Therapy has been very regular despite the holiday schedules of therapists. Mum is walking every day (a greater distance each week). She cycles 3-4 kms twice a week (the cycle rolls up to Rufus lll and away they go). In addition, Isabel has 1-2 other exercise programs each day. Once an athlete ~ always an athlete.

In mid-August, Mum, Nancy and Janet enjoyed an evening of the singing and instrumental accompaniement of "Celtic Woman" ~ a performance by an Irish group at the Connexus Centre of the Arts. The Uileann Bagpipes were of particular interest to Isabel.

The rain continues on the green prairies as temperatures dip and Autumn draws closer. We hope for warmer breezy days to dry out fields and crops.

Thank you all for care and connection that comes in such various ways.

The Nightingale Sang in Barkley Square

There are days when magic happens at Wascana and Wednesday past was one of them. Isabel eagerly awaited a visit from her longtime friends Don & Marion of Aber-Calgary whom she had not seen in nearly two years. Much water has passed under the bridge since the last visit of these old friends. Transition has happened in each of their lives as well as the lives of other close friends. Isabel & Rufus III were outside at the west doors of Wascana to greet Marion & Don as they rolled in with family members.
Late the day before, the Lysters, and Isabel had learned that Larry & Marj Middleton would once again be the featured entertainment at the Veterans' Happy Hour one floor above Mum's unit on Wednesday afternoon. Our parade of wheelchairs and walkers rolled in 40 minutes before Happy Hour began to ensure we found good seats. We were greeted by a visiting Veteran who was celebrating his 87th birthday and whom has come to help host this Happy Hour for nearly 30 years. The Women's Auxiliary to a Regina Legion (some whom have also been volunteering for more than 25 years) quickly found us chairs and offered drinks and snacks.

As Don said "Larry can make that sax talk". Marj's keyboard skills complemented the sax for an hour of easy dance music. Larry invited the crowd of 100 to identify songs. Don & Isabel were quick to call out the World War II tune: The Nightingale Sang in Barkley Square after just a few bars. We may not have been under the enchantment of nightingales in wartime London, but we were amid the magic of dance music stirring tired feet and old memories of many veterans and their spouses. Hands clasped, feet tapped, and we could all imagine summer evenings 70 years ago. As the hour was coming to a close, Marion & Don pushed away their walkers to invite their daughters to dance. Isabel's applause for this surprise performance came through the pounding of her wooden spoon on her wheelchair table.

We are grateful for longtime friends with courage and determination; younger friends with the gift of music who share it so willingly in longterm care facilities in Balcarres and Regina; and moments of magic in a longterm care facility where lives continue to find meaning through the gifts of staff and volunteers.

Gratitude Three Years Later

Isabel kept a daily diary for over 50 years. Her last entry was three years ago today, August 8, 2007.

"Feeling tough today so didn't do much; bones all sore; eyes sore & weak. Clayton helped me haul door from Joe Englot's to Foster School. Sewing Mary's school bag."

This week, Mum wrote a letter to friends who are also West Nile Neurological Syndrome Survivors and said:

"I remember the next day I felt even worse and then I don't remember a single thing, not one, until nearly Christmas when I very gradually began to 'be with it' after 4.5 mos. The rest is history. It has been 3 years of struggling, hard work, disappointments, elation as goals have been reached, growing even closer to my family, and making new friends like you and other West Nile survivors. I have learned to appreciate the therapists who work so hard to help me and never give up on me and the nurses for their care. I feel so lucky to have Wascana where I can get help and I am grateful for my many friends and relations who visit, send emails, and cards etc. that keep me sane! When I feel discouraged with my progress, I remind myself how I was 3 years ago. I keep on pedalling because I know if I stop I will fall off! I have learned much in this time and made such good friends with you and the other West Nilers, which never would have happened if that mosquito hadn't come along."

To all of you survivors and families whom we have met over the last three years..... strength and hope for the journey.

And thank you, each and every one of you, who continue to send your support our way in various forms. We are indeed grateful.

Isabel and her Gang.